Arsenic Lobster poetry journal
Issue Twenty
Summer 2009
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Ambidexterity Training
Michael Flatt

I was sad and there was rain on the windshield sitting still and running downward connecting dots with itself. I was sad and beyond that were bright tetherballs swinging in loops. I was sad in my car with a sad song on full-tilt sadness. I was sad to find that sadness swings in loops too. I was sad and turned myself in. I was sad and turned myself into the image. I was sad and did my job. I was sad and shot a potato gun, sadly. I was sad and got a facelift. I was sad and got a forklift. I was sad and put one on reserve. I was sad and got a facelift from a forklift. I was sad and being ridiculous, as in, You’re being ridiculous. I was sad about the concept of ridiculousness. I was sad and had swamp-ass. I was sad about swamp-ass as a concept. I was sad about sadness for sadness’ sake. I was sad and allowed my sadness about the concept of sadness to be the saddest sad ever said. I was sad and being serious, as in, You’re being serious? I was sad I couldn’t remember the reference. I was sad someone would say, If I don’t get a blowjob, I’m gonna be pissed. I was sad and said something should be done about violent crime. I was sad and said that some violent crime would help this place. I was sad when I remembered the reference. I was sad it was a reference to that specific referent. I was sad about qualifying statements like right now, as in, I’m not going to fuck you right now. I was sad I got his coke-nose blood in my mouth. I was sad and replaced every sad with happy and reread the whole thing. I was sad and unafraid. I was sad and that was the problem. I was sad but I wasn’t thinking about the swans with no necks. I was sad and then I was thinking about the swans with no necks. I was sad about the ascription of emotions to notions. I was sad I had a point. I was sad about pornography. I was sad I don’t own a helicopter. I was sad The Crystal Text doesn’t have a better cover. I was sad about artifice. I was sad and crash and bang. I was sad that I found a suicide note in a hotel room, but not for as long as I should have been.

About Michael Flatt

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